Discuss each step and rule with the children. Ask the children to describe a variety of conflicts that commonly occur at school. List these on the board. For two or three of them, discuss how the steps and rules of conflict resolution could be used. Then have pairs or small groups apply the steps and rules to the other situations listed on the board.
Afterward, have a class discussion to compare results. Introduce the concept of "I-messages" and "blaming" messages. Tell the students an "I-message" is a statement about your own feelings.
RESOLVING CONFLICT PEACEFULLY
It says what's bothering you and why. We could do a better job if we worked together instead of arguing all the time. A "blaming" message says what's wrong with the other person. An "I-message" is constructive and points to a solution.
A "blaming" message puts the other person on the defensive and leads to more conflict. Referring to the conflicts already listed on the board, ask students to role play using "I-messages" in these situations instead of "blaming" messages. You might want to demonstrate the "blaming" messages yourself to avoid asking students to practice a negative behavior. Other teaching guides in this series:.
Conflict resolution - Wikipedia
Write about a time when you or someone you know got into a conflict that wasn't resolved. Describe how the steps and rules of conflict resolution could have been used to resolve it. Write a short story about a conflict. Make up two endings. In one ending the conflict is resolved, and in the other it isn't. Make a list of things you could say or do to keep cool during a conflict. Note to the teacher: You can spark students' thinking for this assignment by giving examples of several typical conflicts between people their age. Divide a sheet of paper in half lengthwise.
Think of a conflict or disagreement. On one side write "blaming" messages for that situation.
On the other side write "why" messages that could be used instead. To enlist the involvement of parents, make copies of the "For Parents" block see below and send them home with the children. Tell the children to discuss the video with their parents, and to perform the following activities. List the steps and rules of conflict resolution see "How to Resolve Conflicts" at the top of this column on a sheet of paper and post them at home so family members can learn and practice them.
Ask family members or neighbors to describe conflicts they've experienced. Discuss how the steps and rules of conflict resolution could have helped. When someone uses a "blaming" message in a conflict with you, ask that person to use an "I-message" instead. Let the storm run its course. Often times the angry person wants to provoke you. Arguing is ineffective because it raises barriers.
Consider how I handled the barber situation. Let the other person do the talking. He or she will soon grow tired of it. Everyone wants to feel important. Some people just express it in ways that are counterproductive.
Imagine yourself in his shoes. If the situation turns verbally abusive, put a stop to it. Firmly but calmly state: We can talk again after you calm down. If you are wrong, quickly admit it and take responsibility. These words have tremendous power. Now I take a step back, breathe deep, and listen. The more I do that, the easier it is to solve problems.
Mutufally successful outscomes require self-discipline
Conflicts can actually lead to increased understanding and creative thinking. In this era of school and workplace shootings, road rage, airport rage, and even supermarket rage, knowing how to resolve conflicts can save a life. Beyond that, conflict resolution skills can improve relationships and deepen understanding. Based on methods from diplomacy and counseling, these guidelines were initially developed for use in public schools.
The results were so good that teachers, parents, and school administrators began using them in their own lives. Now this system is being used internationally. Take a step back, breathe deep, and gain some emotional distance before trying to talk things out. If I try to skip this step, my words are too emotionally loaded.
Consider some of the following: Some people need physical release, while others need something quiet and cerebral. Determine what works for you, then use it next time you get angry. Each person restates what they heard the other person say. Reflective listening demonstrates that we care enough to hear the other person out, rather than just focusing on our own point of view. It actually fosters empathy. Mark Burnes describes how he used reflective listening the time he walked into the middle of a shouting match between his ex-wife and teen-aged son. In the past I might have shouted for them to stop, only to have been drawn into the fray.
Instead I took a deep breath, gathered my thoughts, and chose my words carefully.
7 Tips for Resolving Conflicts Quickly and Peacefully
I calmly asked them each if they could tell me what had happened. Then I reflected back what they said. My willingness to listen helped them listen too. In the majority of conflicts, both parties have some degree of responsibility. However, most of us tend blame rather than looking at our own role in the problem. When we take responsibility we shift the conflict into an entirely different gear, one where resolution is possible.