Life is about making decisions. Having a phone is a luxury in my home, not a necessity. It comes with rules. For now based on my experiences in life, this works for us. The great thing is that we live somewhere where there is choice. NJMom … A while back, when the Internet was young and I had a early teens nephew 13 or 14 , I turned him loose with my browser and computer to research a term paper for school.
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I showed him how to use a search engine. I also had nothing more sophisticated than the ability to record which websites he visited in the browser history. As I thought he would, he alternated research with casual browsing … but after a token visit to playboy. I grew up in a society that was bathed in fear of the secret police, of associates betraying you to the authorities, of political officers being more powerful than anyone else. The internet is our best defense against that. They already have access to it. Do they surf for porn? Try it one day. But if my kids surf for porn, so what.
I hope they will talk to me about it and I hope to be able to point them to age appropriate material regarding sexuality and relationships, and explain why this particular form of entertainment is so popular.
Resource Limit Is Reached
Today in America, we are bathed in fear of child molesters, rapists, pornographers. Oh my good gravy, do you actually think that was a choice for your kid? No phone or a spy phone? Having a phone is a luxury in my home as well. Then again so is chocolate, air conditioning, video games, movies, pizza, chinese food and so on. But I do not put conditions on any of them.
If you truly trust you kid, then you trust her choice in friends. I know I do. You can spin this anyway you want. This is nothing more than spying and controlling. When I was a kid, I had a great relationship with my parents. I trusted them not to freak out and to give me good advice. It is very, very difficult to see your child get hurt. But try and fail they must — this is part of growing up. If my husband had a cell phone and I put this kind of spyware on his phone, what would that say about our relationship? Certainly not that there was a foundation of trust and love in our marriage. But I personally find it creepy.
This is not Playboy or Hustler, folks. I know that forbidding something, walling kids off from it, makes it more attractive. Then again, would I leave the Windex or Comet on the floor if my baby were crawling around? I want them to live fully. What good is that?! I want something that notifies me the moment my child makes a move with her phone. Again it is a parenting tool that is available.
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Do I look at the reports everyday? I am not worried about internet porn, or her altering her appearance for sex or whatever. My daughter plays sports, works on her art and lives a balanced life from what I can see. So you ask why do you put this on her phone? I am an adult and I have had some pretty interesting experiences online with people.
I have also experienced quite a bit of tragedy that in some ways could have been avoided or solved sooner with existing technology had it been available while I was growing up. It is just a tool that is available for parents if they choose to use it and then it is up to the parent to use it how they see fit in their lives. And one other thing, before everyone continues the debate based on partial facts, perhaps you should have a better understanding of how the product works: Oh, those kids are the exception?
How many ppl come out later in life to talk about experiences like this?? The fact is Children are children and no matter how strong, open, and talked to they are, they are still vulnerable. The core idea of guiding, being open, parent, advise, our kids is great and i believe its the write way to be. I look at it this way. When kids are old enough to pay for their own devices, then they can have their privacy.
I have been followed by unsavory characters. I have taken the wrong bus and ended up in sketchy neighborhoods. I traveled to NYC at 15 and before I found my friend was approached by more than one pimp.
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I have these stories… but, I came through all of those experiences unscathed because my parents had incrementally allowed freedoms. I developed some savvy that let me deal with these experiences with smarts, not panic. I was raised in rural New England, but we traveled a lot.
Kids are smarter than many give them credit for. Rebecca You still have not answered my questions. Telling your daughter that she either has a phone with your spyware on it, or no phone at all, is not a choice, it is an ultimatium. How can you honestly say that is a fair choice?
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How can you tell your daughter you trust her, but I will be monitoring your every move? Are you not sending mixed messages, we trust you but we are watching? I would bet that you went thru some traumatic event as a child, just by the way you are talking. Please deal with your issues, without putting them onto to your child.
Resource Limit Is Reached
And no offense, do not preach about living in the ghetto. That excuse has been used far too often over the years to be relevant, to anything. No matter where you live, we all have the same choices to make and live with them afterward. I dont discredit children at all. I dont discredit the smarts of children. And again, why play roulette with the safety of my child and maybe stop something that could have been prevented.
Not sure what the confusion is about. How is spyware going to prevent your child from being abducted? Do you think the abductor is going to call and arrange a convenient time, for the abduction? Your GPS is worthless, because you know they will dump, and smash the phone immediately. All this stuff does is give you a false sense of security. So since when has cautiousness and taking preventative measures to keep your children safe been associated with bad parenting? What it sounds like from the majority of ppl on here is something to this effect.
Teach your kids how to walk up and down the street safely, once you do that let them walk up and down the street the rest of the day, and DONT look out the window periodically to make sure they are ok. So im sorry i dont have any issues. And i do realize no matter where you live anything can happen. Nobody needs any layer of protection anymore in fact. And if this prevented one child from something bad happening to them?
But If i think it can somehow help my own child, in addition to the kind of parenting you guys are talking about, then im freaking doing it. Life is not fair. Although, I would love it to be. She did have a choice and she made it. Maybe because she is open with me and has nothing to hide. Do you even read what I have written?